Kya Enos was sitting in statistics class through the second semester of her freshman 12 months and was struggling.
“I used to be having a meltdown,” stated the 20-year-old Enos, a junior who performs on the College of Maine softball crew. “I didn’t know what it was. I couldn’t make it via class. I acquired up and left. I used to be crying.”
She went to the New Stability Discipline Home, the place she confided in UMaine athletic coach Orla Curran, who works with the softball crew.
“I stated I didn’t know what was unsuitable with me. I had reached my breaking level and couldn’t take this any extra,” Enos stated.
“I had began to understand that I wanted assist. I used to be going to should face actuality.”
Enos wasn’t sleeping or consuming sufficient and he or she was partying an excessive amount of. Her grades have been struggling as she was skipping courses, or napping in some that she did attend. She was in a poisonous relationship along with her boyfriend that was consuming her life. Throughout an evening of consuming, she punched herself within the face and gave herself a black eye.
She admitted considering taking her personal life.
“However I didn’t need to go away my mom [Michelle] and my teammates. I didn’t need them blaming themselves [for not doing more to save me],” she stated.
Softball has been certainly one of her passions since she was 5 years previous, however there have been days she didn’t need to go to softball apply.
Nevertheless, with skilled intervention and the help of her coaches, trainers and teammates, Enos resides along with her prognosis whereas serving as a key member of the UMaine softball crew.
Her intention is to let individuals know that many student-athletes, girls specifically, are coping with psychological well being points. She desires them to know that it’s OK to be weak and to hunt assist.
It was a troublesome freshman 12 months for Enos.
“After I hit my first house run, coach [Mike] Coutts referred to as me over. I assumed he was going to congratulate me. However he instructed me that my grades weren’t good and I wanted to convey them as much as keep on the crew,” Enos stated.
Coutts and assistant coach Jordan Fitzpatrick had thought of kicking Enos off the crew, however they realized one thing wasn’t proper along with her.
“She didn’t perceive why she was behaving the best way she was. We knew we needed to get her assist,” Coutts stated.
Enos resisted counseling initially, however ultimately realized that it was a mandatory a part of her remedy.
“I didn’t need to spend time telling somebody about myself. I simply needed them to inform me what I wanted to do,” Enos stated.
Enos underwent baseline testing to evaluate mind operate, which medical doctors stated was compromised by a number of concussions she suffered enjoying sports activities previous to attending UMaine.
When she returned to UMaine for her sophomore 12 months (2019-20), Curran directed her to Dr. Anthony Podraza.
Enos stated she felt comfy with the neuropsychologist, who identified her with consideration deficit hyperactivity dysfunction and borderline character dysfunction. She additionally was discovered to have a studying incapacity and an alcohol use drawback.
According to the Mayo Clinic, borderline character dysfunction impacts the best way individuals suppose and really feel about themselves and others, and causes self-image points and issue managing feelings and conduct. It comes with an intense worry of abandonment or instability and a sample of unhealthy relationships.
Individuals with borderline character dysfunction additionally usually exhibit inappropriate anger, impulsiveness and frequent temper swings that push others away despite the fact that there’s a need to have loving and lasting relationships.
The diagnoses helped Enos begin making sense of issues. She is an solely little one whose mother and father divorced when she was 11.
“I used to be a daddy’s lady and I didn’t perceive why he left. It turned to anger,” she stated.
After seeing Podraza, Enos additionally met with Kim Walker, a social employee at Northern Mild Well being, for counseling.
Teammate Emily Reid, her closest good friend, understands why Enos was reluctant to get assist at first.
“She is a powerful, unbiased individual and he or she in all probability felt that was an indication of weak spot,” Reid stated.
The prognosis and counseling have achieved wonders for Enos, who has since opened as much as Reid and different teammates about her struggles. She additionally ended the poisonous relationship along with her former boyfriend, who transferred from UMaine.
Her grades have improved dramatically as she has been on the Dean’s Checklist the final two semesters. On the sector, the speedy left fielder from Taunton, Massachusetts, is batting .284 for UMaine with a team-leading 10 stolen bases.
“She is a special individual now,” stated Reid who added that Enos has all the time been a “caring one that will do something for anybody.”
In February, Coutts requested Enos if she would write a letter detailing her state of affairs. He believed it might be cathartic for her and in addition would possibly assist others who’re coping with comparable points.
“She by no means hesitated. She stated sure straight away,” Coutts stated.
In her letter, Enos wrote, “I’ve discovered that being truthful and weak have been essential elements of my therapeutic course of. Over time, I’ve discovered power in accepting my journey for what it’s and what it is going to change into, and I encourage you to do the identical.”
She admitted discovering remedy irritating initially.
“I hated each second of it,” Enos stated. “It was so emotionally draining and exhausting, however because the classes went on, I noticed that the extra sincere and open I used to be, the extra my therapist was in a position to assist me.”
She confused the significance of getting loads of help through the course of her remedy.
“There’s all the time somebody who will pay attention, all the time somebody who cares, and all the time somebody who desires to assist,” stated Enos, who’s grateful for all the assistance she has obtained.
“My story and my therapeutic is a piece in progress,” Enos stated. “I’ve come a great distance, however I nonetheless have rather a lot to go, a lot extra to perform, and a lot time to change into the lady I’ve all the time dreamed of being.”
